Blessed with four bundles of joy, my “kidz” all have unique personalities and their ages range from inspiring teens to an adorable toddler. From soccer practice to basketball games to piano lessons to gymnastic classes(and did I mention swimming and birthday parties?), I am there! The two girls love to shop (thank God the eldest just got her driver’s license), my older son is quite the athlete, and my dear toddler son would rather play with “Thomas”, the train engine. Sounds busy…but I call it a blessing…never a time for boredom. Always involved, dedicated and fun-filled is the characteristic of my every day!
One might ask how is it possible. What of those challenging times? What of teenage problems? What of peer influence?
The truth lies in my decision to be an involved parent and be actively present in their upbringing. Accepting the responsibility to be a role model and identifying with the need of raising morally sound kids, influenced my active participation as a mother. Society could train my kids but is that really whom I want them to be?
Truly, these challenges add to the variety of my life and viewing each situation not as a problem but as an opportunity for growth, has added to my joy and success in raising a family with wide age variations and talents.
Yes, there are the hurdles of maintaining the right balance between kids, personal life and work. However, having a self interest that is not linked to my children also helps me to be self dependent. As a committed mother, I organize my day such that it accommodates everyone. I am not a “super mom” but rather I am a good planner that enjoys been a mom and a mentor.
My personal decision to make the most of my “mom role”, came at a very awkward time. My older son was always in sports and I was never there because of work. I keep a full time job, in addition. After the birth of my younger son, it enabled me to put my priorities in perspective. My life had to slow down and that helped me to understand that my son’s sports events meant just as much to him as my desire to work. He was just been as dedicated as I was with my work, and that is why he never wanted to let his team down or miss a practice or disappoint his coach. I also started noticing some dedicated parents around me and it changed every thing from that point. So, I started enjoying and attending these events without complaints; since then, my son has excelled and has never stopped.
Change of my attitude actually has been a focal point for me in various areas of my life as a mother of young kids. With the birth of my younger son, I knew it would be challenging so I decided to use his training to assess my patience level. I became accountable to my emotions and I started learning that indeed I had control over my feelings.
As mothers, we may be faced with doubts of whether we are giving our kids the best support and sometimes suffer the guilt that follows. We also blame ourselves first when our kids are not behaving as expected especially compared to their peers.
Personally, I have trained my mind to refrain from this “mind-blaming game”, which not only ruins one’s day but deters progress. My question under such as situation is: “Did I do my best under every circumstance?” That is my method of carrying on with every day. If I sleep in or drop off my son later than I expected at school, I just work on getting better the next day realizing that I am human and bound to improvements. If my kid is exhibiting traits that are different from his peers, I check to make sure that he is not obstructive and then I guide his personality traits such that he does not become a conformist. Every child is a unique individual and that was how they were made!
Every mom wants their kids to be the best and I know that I most definitely do. Over the years, I have been blessed with very smart kids but they have had occasions when that test was too difficult or they did not study well or maybe just did not do as expected. They are already hard on themselves for not meeting their expectation, so when they come to me with the complaints, my answer is:”You did your best under the circumstance. But for next time, we have to try and work harder”. Again, I ask them if there are ways they can get their marks to be higher such as by doing corrections or extra work for the teacher? Truly, as far as the marks go for that test, that is the best reflection of their effort. Does that define success or failure? No! It only shows that there is a room for improvement. We have to move on and forget the past.
So mothers, as busy as life may seem, I have “resolved” to enjoy my most important calling in life. And if you are not at that point yet…there is still time. It took me ten years of trial and prayers to start getting it right! But I did which is what really matters…it is not how long but how well.
Just imagine planting a small seed: over time, the seed develops, blooms, and becomes a beautiful, fully grown flower. What a great miracle it is to train a child in the right way.
I am a BLESSED mom of 4 Happy Kids!